Nailsea United kicked off their first ever Pro Evolution football tournament, as 61 brave gladiators entered to fight for the honour of having the most agile thumbs in Nailsea.

The first round saw a definate split between those that hold down regular jobs, and those that dodge soap and avoid tax paying for a living. Only 4 of the "over 25s" contingent made it into the second round, whilst many big names were un-ceremoneously dumped into the plate competition. The first clash of the evening between Barry Sampson and Tony Smith ended in a victory for the cue-ball, as he successfully evaded Barry's despairing lunges. The biggest win was inflicted by Adam Tonkin, running up a 4-0 victory against Matt Long.

The surviving older players soon found themselves reduced to spectators, as Neil Ridge, James Holman and Tony Smith all suffered 2nd round exits, Smithy coming up against a more substantial Sampson force in young Jake, who celebrated by polishing his opponents head whilst abandoning his joypad for the final minutes. Dan Berry was the only old head to make it into the 3rd round, whilst Matt Vickers' quarter final appearance was the best performance by anyone old enough to remember the days of the Sega Mastersystem.

It was the youngsters who were the stars of the show, with Dan Bracey, Andy Barnard Sam Long and Stu Lee all showing form that suggested they were on course for the title. Mark Iles and Pete Iles were the two unlucky semi-finalists, as Matt Aylott and Steve Mitchell progressed to the showpiece final, a remarkable achievement considering neither owns a Playstation. Steve "Baywatch" Mitchell clinched the title with a nail-biting 2-1 victory, and was presented with his trophy by Paul McLaughlin, at that point a clear leader in the Cheddar Valley drinking stakes.

Over in the plate competion a few mouthwatering ties were thrown up, as 1st team manager Chris Adamson took on vice-chairman Barry Sampson, the manager coming out the winner, whilst Chris McLaughlin defeated brother Paul in a thrilling 10-9 penalty shoot-out. Alan Powell maanged to progess all the way to the semi-final stage without scoring or conceding a goal, before being elimated by the day's youngest player Wes Bracey. The plate title was eventually taken by Joe Berry.

With the tournaments completed and several of the crowd well and truly under the influence of the Thatchers it was time for the big darts showdown, as once again Barry Sampson and Tony Smith did battle. Barry entered in his trademark pink polo shirt to the tune "pretty in pink", and then Tony was carried to the oche on a chair as Chesney Hawks belted out "I am the one and only". Spencer Lee took on the role of Jim Bowen, whilst Dave Brace assisted in the role of Tony Green. Smithy took an early 3-1 lead, and the posters claiming that he wanted Sammo on toast were looking accurate, but then the old head fought back. Play was interrupted several times by drunking chanting, mexican waves and object throwing, and it appeared spectator Ian Moorcroft had been struck by a stray dart until it was revealed he'd walked into a door, whilst Matt Long was given the job of inspecting the Grove toilets at very close quarters, whilst held upside down. Under the spotlight it was Sammo who coped best with these distractions, eventually triumphing 6-3 to silence his chav challenger.

Commenting on the day chairman Spencer Lee said:

"Can I thank everyone who supported the inaugural Nailsea United Football Club Pro-Evolution event on Sunday. We raised a tremendous £284.33 for the Club funds and it certainly seemed to me that everyone had a great time. Special thanks to all of those who helped make it happen - Simon, Sammo, Bracer, Addo, Stu L, Jim L, Dan S and Smiffy. A lot of hard work was put into a new idea to bring it to life and it certainly realised a great result.

Congratulations to Steve 'Bay Watch' Mitchell and Joe 'Who the hell are you?' Berry the worthy winners of the main and plate competitions and to the respective runners-up Matt 'No Playstation' Aylott and Wes 'I'll get me coat' Bracey. Also, thanks to Sammo and Smiffy for a superb darts finale which rounded off a wonderful day in style.

We'll be doing it again!

PS. Tough call for most pissed person between Paul Macca, Matty Long and Jim L? You decide.

Thanks again everyone. It's days like these that bring the entire Club together and will help to take us forward to realise our aspirations."

Wes receives his prize as plate runner-up	Plate winner Joe Berry	Runner-up Matt Aylott
Champion Steve Mitchell	The darts competitors embrace after an epic battle