Goals: As - Carroll; Bs - Sam Long, Nick Snook (2), Tony Smith

A cold and frosty Fortress Grove was the setting for this local derby upset, the Bs comfortably beating the As in front of both teams biggest crowd of the season. Pre match speculation said that the As were nervous and getting in a team of ringers, but this was dispelled at kick off with the As having only 3 first team / reserves in their squad to the Bs 2. Many thought that this would be a walk over for the As, odds as high as 100-1 for a Bs victory were being given by Paul Lambert shortly before kick off. This didn’t rattle the Bs however, and Boots’ Bears were confident of an upset, which showed in their early attacking play.

The Bs bossed the early exchanges, reducing the As to break aways that were taken care of by Luke “Route One” Johnson and the Bs Lynch Pin Austin Hendy. The Bs were confident building from the back, Sammy “Excellent Touch” Long and Rich Snook providing outlets for Rob Tracey and Nick Snook on the flanks, Darren Watts and player manager Boots always available in the middle of the park, and Jammer and Tony “The Chav Faced Assassin” Smith looking to hold the ball up in attack. With all the Bs pressure the first goal wasn’t long in coming. The As keeper cleared from wide left straight to Nick Snook who after a bit of a run tried to curl the ball around the As Captain Paul Lambert into the empty net, the ball cannoned off Lambert though straight back to Snook who again had his shot blocked well by Lambert. The ball rebounded to Sam Long who coolly slotted home from 12 yards with his deadly right foot. 1-0 to the Bs, and the As realised this was no Bank Holiday Monday stroll in the park.

Chances were plenty for the Bs, Jammer and Tony Smith particularly effective at creating from lay offs around the box, and the As keeper was having a torrid time. A Rich Snook whipped in corner then provided Sam Long with a chance; his close range header though was cleared off the line. Luke Johnson found himself marauding forward and hit a shot that went wide, perhaps not knowing how much time he really had. More pressure saw Tony Smith receive the ball on the left from a throw in, control well and lay off to Nick Snook who beat his man and drilled into the bottom corner for two zip. The As looked stunned and you would have thought going 2-0 down to the Bs would have spurred some sort of fight back, alas, the majority of the As obviously didn’t receive any fighting spirit for Christmas and this never materialised.

The next goal came after a great team move from the Bs. A ball from the back found Matt Vickers in midfield, who spread the ball wide to Rich Snook on the left wing. Snook travelled gazelle like down the line and picked out Nick Snook on the back post who volleyed into the net for his second and the Bs third. The message from Boots at half time was for more of the same, but everyone expected the As to up their game in the second period - the question was could the Bs out jump, out muscle and out play the As for the whole 90 minutes? The second half kicked off and the answer was apparently yes. It quickly looked like the Bs would bag a lot more goals in the second half, Nick Snook, Sam Long, Tony Smith, and Jammer all coming close or having efforts saved, which resulted in even more second half corners, Jammer having a header cleared off the line from one of these. Then Austin “Lynch Pin” Hendy’s maizey run from centre back saw him drive a shot just over the woodwork. It was a case of when, rather than if for the Bs fourth, a penetrative Rich Snook Beckham special switched the play from left to right, and good work from Boots and Darren Watts led to a pinpoint cross that saw Tony “The Chav Faced Assassin” Smith convert with a bullet header past the hapless As keeper. 4-0 and evidently Christmas had come late for the Bears. Boots even felt confident enough to provide the crowd with some entertainment by introducing the clearly intoxicated Roberts, who performed an excellent piroutte before falling to the ground, to loud cheers and comments of "Bambi on ice".

Soon after, Paul Lambert should have walked after rugby tackling Matt Vickers when through on goal, the resultant free kick seeing Nick Snook almost catch out the As keeper for his hat trick. Jason “Shilts” Small, a spectator for most of the game, made a fine save deep into the second half, diving expertly to his left to tip an As shot around the post. He was beaten though soon after an As break led to a miss hit cross that somehow found Mike Carroll on the back post to knock home for their consolation. The lack of celebration was a sure sign that they knew they didn’t deserve even their consolation and were going to get nothing out of the game.

The plaudits though will surely go to the Bs - defying the odds to obliterate the As in a humiliating fashion, causing the A team’s drinking session in the bar to consist of only Captain Paul Lambert, who gallantly had a Coke with the Bs.

Press Conference - These quotes may or may not be “factual”.

Luke Johnson:
“Well the game wasn’t really a contest, and it quickly turned into a guessing game as to how many goals the Bears would win by. It was a fair game and the team with the most skill and ability, passion and pace came out comfortable winners”.

Shilts:
“From my position I could only see one team winning, and it made me feel good and forget about my homework I had to get done”.

Jammer:
“I haven’t played in such a one sided game since 1975 when I was 28 years old and I played in a 12-0 win over Weston Inbreeds”.

Rich Snook:
“Does that mean we are now the As?”

Boots:
“You’d better all be at training on the 4th”.

Tony Smith:
“I’m so pleased with the win that I’m going to celebrate by buying another Burberry Hat”.

Paul Lambert:
“I was shocked by the defeat, but it appeared the Bs just wanted it more and everyone of them gave 110%. Even the old timers like Jammer and Boots were finding that extra yard that they had in their glory days of 30 years past!”