| 1999
– The last festival of the millennium and festival go-ers
were encouraged to write down their bad memories of the last century
on bits of paper and put them into the mouth of a 12ft high wooden
creature with wings and tongues. The creature was then burnt on
the final night by renowned Spanish pyrotechnic Martine, to signify
a new phoenix rising from the flames for a new millennium. I wonder
how many pieces of paper merely contained the words “Manic
Street Preachers”? Billy Bragg’s paper almost certainly
did, the protest singer was infuriated with the Welsh band for
an incident that would become known in Glastonbury folklore as
“Crappergate.” The Manics had brought their own luxury
portable toilet with them to the festival, and dumped it backstage
with the notice “These facilities are for the exclusive
use of the Manic Street Preachers – please respect that.”
Bragg snapped a Polaroid of the portaloo in question and brought
it to the attention of anyone prepared to listen. |
| What's
wrong with these beauties? |
|
| “What
the Manics were doing was against the spirit of Glastonbury,”
said Bragg. Festival go-ers and the media alike agreed, and the
Manics were roundly laughed at. The band did more to dampen the
spirits by playing a passionless headline set on Saturday night,
disappointing the large turnout gathered to see them. I witnessed
at least 3 other people fall asleep before giving into boredom
myself and drifting off, dangerously toppling over and knocking
down several others on the way. Boring Welsh bands should be banned
in the future for health reasons (they weren’t, see 2002:
Stereophonics, and 2003: MSP again, bollocks!) |
| Clark
in the mouth of something Oriental |
|
Despite
this disappointing headline act on Saturday night, the festival
had already reached legendary status by then. It was the first
sunny festival for 4 years, and the first that the Hannah More
Zider team had experienced. Glastonbury organizers and customers
alike breathe a huge sigh of relief. It was doubtful whether there
would be a festival at all in ’99 after all the criticism
the planners had received from the media following the mud-fests
of ’97 and ’98 – it was claimed they did not
do enough to protect campers from the horrendous conditions. “The
deciding factor was the phone call from REM offering to play for
the first time” Michael Eavis told the Western Daily Press,
“we couldn’t really say no to that.” After Friday
nights performance by the American group the majority of the huge
crowd they attracted agreed that Michael had made the right decision.
“We’ve finally made it to Glastonbury” says
Michael Stipe as he bounds onto the stage, knowing full well how
perfectly the festival and band suit each other. From shambolic,
low-key beginnings in the ‘70’s, both Glastonbury
and REM spend the ‘80’s with politics as the main
thing on their agenda, turn towards environmental issues at the
end of the decade (REM release the “Green” album just
months before Glastonbury adopts Greenpeace as it’s principal
benefactor), and then both achieve massive commercial success
against the odds during the 1990’s. |
| So,
the greatest show on Earth fittingly ends the millennium with
one of the greatest showmen on Earth. Stipe has the audience mesmerized
throughout, and they go mental for “Losing My Religion”,
“Man On The Moon”, “Everybody Hurts”,
etc. REM have always insisted they will break up on New Years
Eve ’99, and with Eavis casting doubts over Glastonbury’s
ability to continue into the millennium, we hope “It’s
The End Of The World As We Know It” isn’t true of
either band or festival. Either way, we still have have rest of
Glastonbury to party like it’s 1999, starting with Ash and
Groove Armada putting in entertaining displays on Saturday. An
amazing early-evening set from the Super Furry Animals dissolves
into chaos as some nutter tries to drive a large van through the
heart of their Other Stage crowd during “The Man Don’t
Give A F*&k”. Enthusiastic Super Furries fans climb
on top of the van to dance, much to the anger of the van’s
owner who jumps on the roof himself to chuck them off. Illuminated
by the lightshow from the stage, a comedy Royal Rumble unfolds
on top of the van as spectators encourage each other to get on
the roof and wrestle with the Mr.T look-a-like driver. |
|
|
On
Sunday we decide we need to get on TV somehow - and put the name
of Nailsea on the map… much scratching of heads follows
as we try to think of a way to get noticed. “We need one
of those inflatable sofas to write on!” suggests one of
the Nailsea team, and then as if by magic a big, yellow sofa blows
into the middle of our circle of tents from absolutely nowhere!
We ask around nearby tents to see if it belongs to anyone, but
no one claims it – so, seeing this as a miraculous gift
from God or the Glastonbury Angel or someone, we get to work plastering
it with “Nailsea” slogans. |
 |
| A
few hours later it is broadcast on the two huge screens either
side of the Pyramid Stage – this leads to several stray
Nailseans that we have lost at various points over the weekend
being reunited with us after spotting it. By holding the sofa
above the crowd with a Nailsea girl pretending to be asleep on
it during one of the Fun Lovin’ Criminals’ slower
songs we ensure that we get on the BBC’s live coverage too.
This is not good news for those who have bunked the weekend of
work to attend the festival, but the rest of us are pleased with
ourselves. Also on the bill: Bjorn Again,
Barenaked Ladies, Blondie, Bush, dEUS, The Doves, Queens of the
StoneAge, Gay Dad, David Gay, Tom Robinson, Blu Peter, Hole, Beautiful
South, Pavement, Gomez, Faithless, Fatboy Slim, Chemical Brothers,
Blindlestiff Family Cirkus, Beth Otron, Joe
Strummer, Travis, Texas, Underworld,
Cast, The Cardigans, Orbital, Lonnie Donegan, Toploader, Yeovil
Town Band, Al Green, The Corrs, Dodgy, Coldplay, Dogstar, Blak
Twang, Lenny Kravitz, Skunk Anasie, Roots, Jurrassic 5.
Price = £83.
Attendance = 100,000 |
 |
|
2000
– The success of the 1999 Festival meant that everyone wanted
to be at the following Glastonbury, and many were, at least 20,000
were reported to have gotten through the fence without paying
– it seemed like lots more. Crime was on the up too. Although
we were lucky, many festivalgoers had tents raided and money stolen.
Mass overcrowding made it uncomfortable to get around the site,
and after the Roskilde Festival tragedy later in 2000 (when several
people were crushed to death) it was apparent the situation would
have to be addressed before there was another Glastonbury –
leading it to be cancelled in 2001.
Perhaps
it was caused by the heat from over-crowding, but Glastonbury
2000 became the most naked festival since the early 70’s!
The nudity was led by the famous naked-protestor Vincent Bethell
(left), on a mission to promote “non-sexual public nudity”
by walking around with his knob out, holding a sign. Although
he was only actually joined by one other man (who wasn’t
even fully naked), many of the performing artists pledged their
support… They included Moby, The Bloodhound Gang, and
Bez who commented “let it all hang out.” Motley
Crue drummer Tommy Lee also supported the campaign by getting
his kit off onstage.
|
| The
highlight of the weekend (and perhaps lifetime?) for many was
witnessing the performance of Nailsea legends The Wurzels, playing
to a capacity crowd at the Band-Stand. Accordionist Tommy Banner
joined in the Glastonbury nakedness of course, and renditions
of “Drink Up Thy Zider” could be heard hours after
the band had finished even, as fans carried on the singing while
congo-ing around the circular stage. General congestion in the
crowd leads the HMZ team to spend less time around the “big-name
band” stages than previously and explore the more chilled-out
areas around the Stone Circle. This takes a bit of getting used
to, but we gradually learn over the weekend that you can’t
get a beef burger in the Green Futures Field, never look too interested
in any of the circus acts as you will be soon roped into being
part of it, the people from Greenpeace always think we are taking
the piss when we’re talking to them (whether or not we are),
and don’t even try and make sense of what anything does
in the Alternative Technology Field. |
|
| The
Wurzels & some people who actually got to see them
|
|
|
The
line-up of year’s Festival reflects a boring few years in
music, with Travis being the most exciting band the organisers
could find to headline Saturday night. The reformed Happy Mondays
livened things up with a comedy performance on Sunday evening
– onstage fighting, puking, and hat-stealing led to Shaun
Ryder storming off in anger, but not before yet more nudity, when
a naked lady joins the band on stage for a dance. Unsurprisingly
the show is stolen by David Bowie, who headlines the Festival
with an amazing set of hits spanning his whole career, some tracks
even pre-dating his debut Glastonbury appearance at the second-ever
festival in 1971.
Also on the bill: Chemical Brothers, Macy
Gray, Black Box Recorder, The Wannadies, Coldplay, Tipper(?),
Rolf Harris, Elastica, Leftfield, FatBoy Slim, Willie Nelson,
Burt Bacharach, Nine Inch Nails, The The, Groove Armada, Moloko,
Matthew Jay, Cardiacs, Circus Fields, Reef, Semisonic, Brand New
Heavies, Asian Dub Foundation, Leftfield, Death in Vegas, Muse,
Morcheeba, Flaming Lips, Hothouse Flowers, Phoenix Fire Show,
Pet Shop Boys, St Etienne, Dark Star, Jazz Jamaica, Eric Truffaz,
Kelis, Brendan Burns, Spacecraft Piano Bar (Jools Holland/Billy
Bragg), Gone Fishing, Idlewild, Cypress Hill, The Bluetones, The
Wailers, Utah Saints, . Price
= £87. Attendance = 150,000
|
| 2001
– Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhh.....
CANCELLED!!! |
| 2002
– Effectively “on trial” this year after the
overcrowding of 2000, and with it’s future at risk if the
situation was not addressed, the Glastonbury Festival returns
with a new £1million “Superfence”. Much more
solid looking and slightly taller than the previous version, the
fence is generally successful in keeping those without tickets
from getting in, although this leads to angry disturbances and
a spate of muggings outside the site and in Pilton village. As
well as keeping ticketless punters out of the festival, the fence
also appears to prevent many decent bands attending! The line-up
isn’t announced until the Festival begins, and upon getting
handed our programmes at the entrance we drop our belongings and
eagerly read who the organisers have secured for the event weve
all been waiting 2 years for. There is a deafening silence and
looks of horror as we see a picture of the Stereophonics under
the caption “Saturday Headliners”, for a few minutes
we just stare at the programme in disbelief until someone stabs
a tent peg into the face of the stupid, grinning, poodle-haired
drummer of the blandest, and most tuneless, boring pub-rock band
on the planet. |
The
Anti-scouscer
fence (pic from here) |
|
| 3
ticketless men who penetrate the fence by hiding in Stuart
Cable's hair are removed. |
|
Then
we discover that where we got David Bowie as Sunday headliner
in 2000, we get Rod Stewart this year!! Praying that the organisers
have got someone pretty legendary for the Friday night to make
up for these two disappointments, we turn the page to find…
Coldplay!?!?!?! Now we like Coldplay, and would normally be pleased
to see them on the bill, but Glastonbury headliners when they’ve
only released one album??? Seems like a bit of a cop-out. Traditionally
Glastonbury headliners have had a whole collection of tunes that
the general festival-goer will know and can get in to, big songs
that even uninterested people sitting in their tents or just strolling
by will come rushing into the crowd and sing along with. Coldplay
have a couple at the most. Although their spectacular performance
and songs they showcase from the forthcoming second album suggest
they are destined for greatness, they just haven’t got the
amount of familiar tracks required to hold the average spectators
attention. Ash on the other hand, who are third on the bill, play
a set almost entirely consisting of singles, “Girl from
Mars”, “Burn Baby Burn”, “Oh Yeah”,
etc all getting a fantastic response from the lively crowd. |
| As
a more electronic-based act Faithless have a tough task of following
Ash’s guitar onslaught, but years of experience have given
them a great understanding of the festival crowd, and their fast/slow
techno-tactics even compel the Coldplay fans into raising their
(correct) fingers in the air during “We Come 1”. Maybe
one of these bands should have headlined over Coldplay, and let
Coldplay’s inevitable headline appearance be saved for a
later year? On Saturday night, The Charlatans certainly deserved
to headline over the Stereophonics. With seven albums under their
belts during a rollercoaster ten-year career, the Manchester band
had the songs to get people grooving (“The Only One I Know”),
and the songs to get people singing (“Just Looking”).
Their greatest hits set was rapturously received. The Stereophonics
had the songs to make people want to run to the hills holding
their ears, but not much else. Many of the HMZ team choose to
watch Glastonbury-veterans Orbital on The Other Stage instead.
Earlier in a good day of music The White Stripes had put in an
electric performance on the Pyramid, dispelling many doubts about
how their usual intimate club show would transfer itself to the
open air of Glastonbury. Starsailor excitedy welcomed sixties
hippy legend Donovan on stage with them, although sadly I seemed
to be the only person there who knew who he was – the watching
kids laughed aloud at his leo-sayer haircut amid shouts of “Donovan…
is that Jason Donovan?” |
Faithless
on The Pyramid Stage screen... (from here) |
|
|
There are
several well-worn Glastonbury clichés of how the weekend
is “not about the bands”, and how “you can
have a great time without even seeing the main stages.”
Luckily these clichés are true, and despite moaning about
the crap line-up all weekend, we agree this has been one of
our best “Glastonburys.” The sun shines all weekend,
and because of the lack of acts that we want to see, less time
is spent rushing around from stage-to-stage and more time is
spent exploring the rest of the festival and socialising by
the The Cider Bus. It’s not just our group that experiences
a more relaxed time, the festival in general is more laid back
now that those who turn up looking to cause trouble are kept
out by the fence. There is more space to move around and camp
in, and everyone seems to have a smile on their face. Rolf Harris
is given a hero’s welcome Sunday morning when he plays
to one of the biggest crowds ever seen at the Pyramid Stage,
starting a day of “oldies” sets. Two human kangaroos
pogo amongst the crowd while Rolf wobbles his board through
the likes of “Stairway to Heaven” and “Two
Little Boys”. Issac Hayes arrives a few hours later to
deliver some slow soul jams. His talented band obviously take
their music very seriously, which makes it all the more amusing
when he launches into “suck on my chocolate salty balls,
just put ‘em in your mouth... etc” half way through
the set. Roger Waters is also surrounded by a tight group of
musicians, but they opt to play it straight by offering up a
selection of Pink Floyd classics rather than any songs about
salty balls from cartoons. Roger’s quadraphonic surround
sound system ensures that the noises made by their collection
of about FIFTY guitars reaches every corner of the festival,
and one of their noodling guitar solos goes on for so long that
the rest of the band sits down onstage for a game of poker while
they wait for it to finish. This performance begins a few hours
of the strangest chants heard outside of the Hare Krishna tent
for some time. Starting with a ten minute recital of “Roger,
Roger, Roger…” the crowd follow this with some “Feel
my rod, Rod” and “Cider Rod, Cider Rod” songs
as Rod Stewart enters the arena. Fair play to Rod, he knows
that most people watching him are just there to take piss, but
enters into the spirit of things anyway, he even provides us
with things to pelt him with (footballs mainly), and joins us
in slating the Stereophonics at one point too. We try to show
our appreciation by presenting him with a jug of cider, but
the four-man human ladder that is erected to try and hand it
to him topples over several metres short of the stage. |
| Sunday’s
campfire is one of biggest yet, creating a huge cloud of black
acrylic smoke and bringing concerned looks to the faces of the
Greenpeace volunteers amongst us. We discover our strangest object
yet when searching for firewood in a Skip, I spot a flammable
looking back-pack on the top the rubbish, while another firewood
collector spies two trainers sticking out of the debris. We lift
up both objects at the same time and jump back in amazement as
we also pick up a sleeping man that the bag and shoes are both
connected to! He seems happy to crawl back into the Skip and sleep
in the trash, but we persuade him that this is dangerous, and
that he is better off coming with us to join us on… sorry,
around the fire. Also on the bill: Alabama
3, Bush, Dandy Warhols, Doves, Idlewild, Lost Prophets, The Cooper
Temple Clause, Techno Animal, The Bees, British Sea Power, Love
Grocer, Nelly Furtado, Queens Of The StoneAge (with Dave Grohl
on drums), Garbage, Spiritulized, Ozomatli, The Waterboys, Carl
Cox, Jools Holland, No Doubt, Ian Brown, Electric Soft Parade,
Simian, Simple Kid, The Coral, The Vines, The Beta Band, Kosheen,
Mis-teeq, Nick Lowe, Cornershop, The Music, Tall Paul, Badly Drawn
Boy, Soundtrack Of Our Lives, Hundred Reasons, Black Rebel Motorcycle
Club, New Model Army, Mr Scruff, Ooberman, My Vitriol, Belle &
Sebastian, Air, Groove Armada, Mad Professor, Fergie, US3, Ikara
Colt, Elbow, Roy The Roach, Lady Winwood Maggot, Seafood, Beverly
Knight, Less Than Jake, Brandon Block, Robert Plant and Strange
Sensation, Bagdaddies. Price
= £97. Attendance = 100,000 |
|
| QUOTE
OF THE FESTIVAL '02: Block:
“Who’s coming to the Cinema field to watch
Ring of the Lords?” |
|
| Nailsea
Gazebo: Before we drank cider |
|
2003
– “I think we’ve cracked it!” says Michael
Eavis to Q Daily (the festival newspaper), talking about the virtually
trouble-free Glastonbury Festival that we enjoy this year. In
2002 the amount of people getting into the festival without tickets
was drastically reduced, leading to less crime and overcrowding
inside, but more trouble caused by those turned away outside the
gates and in Pilton village as angry fights break-out. Fewer ticket-less
punters turn up this year, clearly accepting that if they come
without a ticket they won’t get in. As a result things pass
by relatively problem-free, both inside and outside of the impenetrable
Super Fence. Robberies are down 50% within the site, The Police
tell Q that this is possibly because “the majority of people
hanging around outside are from Liverpool.” |
| Nailsea
Gazebo: After we drank cider |
|
|
"Give
us a D... give us an ARKNESS!" |
|
Michael's
daughter Emily is also in a good mood when a few of the HMZ team
run into her on Thursday night, even inviting us to her cider-crawl
with celebrity cider-drinker Steve
Lamacq - which we were well up for, but unfortunately forgot
about completely. The good vibes are complimented this year by
the good bands. Where I have previously complained about the lack
of decent groups on, the main problem this year is that there
far too many great ones! The dilemma this year is just which ones
we choose to see? On Friday morning at 10:15am(!!!) the few members
of the HMZ team who have actually heard of them, try to convince
the others that The Darkness should be worth watching open the
Pyramid Stage. Not many people are persuaded into leaving their
tents at this unearthly hour to come and watch 4 long-haired men
in tight trousers, playing heavy metal tracks (that have not
yet made them internationally famous). Those that do venture down
the hill and "rock before breakfast” as the singer
puts it, are entertained by half an hour of camp-theatrics, costume
changes and a cover version of Street Spirit by “The Radio
Heads.” |
| Slight
panic sets in as it starts raining towards the end of the set,
but this only amounts to a small shower – we get a few of
these over the weekend but nothing too bad. Despite the first
band starting at such an early hour, as soon as we are within
range of the Cider Bus the cider-drinking inevitably begins too,
and our main challenge of the day becomes staying sober enough
to remember R.E.M.’s set that night. By the time Electric
6 embark the Other Stage at 6.40 it looks like we are losing the
battle. Due to almost all their songs being about FIRE (apart
from the one about a Gay Bar) a big Nailsea contingent turn up
for Electric 6 with our fire-flag. We are not the only ones with
a flag - everyone bloody has one. The shorter members of the crowd
fail to see anything over the sea of posters. Well, gutted - most
of us are pretty tall and we entertained by the sight of Dick
Valentine and his press-ups, plus a Robot, for the next 40 minutes
or so. Things are getting pretty odd, and it’s not just
the Burrow Hill cider. After watching Idlewild we head towards
the Pyramid (via the Cider Bus again) and catch the end of David
Gray (renamed “David Gray Bar” by those arriving from
the Other Stage). |
| Gay
Stage, Gay Stage!!! It's Electric Six! |
|
|
Most
of us have just about kept it together enough to be standing as
the countdown the R.E.M. commences. An ingenious new invention
of a used cider-jar tied to a stick is waved in the air so that
any missing Nailsea crew can find us – it works brilliantly
– why didn’t we think of that 6 years ago??? This
results in us having a record capacity gathering of us to witness
another incredible performance by R.E.M. – securing their
place in Glastonbury history and uniting those gathered in front
of the main stage with a breathtaking run through of their hits.
On Saturday night we have another returning headliner in the Pyramid
Stage closing spot, Radiohead. The Oxford band also confirm their
reputation as a Glastonbury Great, getting a nice balance in their
set between out-of-this-world-sounding tracks from new album “Hail
To The Thief” , through their more experimental previous
two CD’s to the crowd-pleasers from their earlier days,
last heard during their 1997 headline
slot. Earlier in the day the summer vibes had been flowing from
the likes of The Thrills, Polyphonic Spree, Supergrass and the
Flaming Lips with a cast of hundreds of furry animals and suns!
We have been spoilt with some quality bands over the first couple
of days of this year’s Glastonbury, the Sunday can’t
possibly live up to the standard of the first two… and doesn’t. |
Sunday’s
band are far from terrible, but after all the legging-it around
from stage-to-stage of the first few days we generally take a
well deserved rest against the cider bus today. This leads to
a day of widespread urination, not least from the man pictured
on the right, who wees himself for the second time this weekend.
Several cups are also filled with golden liquid as the toilets
suddenly become to far to walk for several of the tired Nailsea
crew. Any strength we have left is soon expelled while trying
to make a three-man-high human pyramid (as a tribute to the Pyramid
Stage?). Although this leads to several bone dislocations, it
is worth the trouble as the crowds must be entertained during
boring sets by the Manic Street Preachers and Feeder.
 |
A
blurry performance from Moby brings this year’s amazing
Glastonbury to a close, ending as The Darkness began with
a Radiohead cover: this time “Creep” gets dusted
off to send the crowd wild. The music does not end there
however! Who could forget the moving tribute to the Cider
Bus that follows shortly after, as a large crowd serenade
the cider-staff with some specially written tunes (“C.I.D.E.R”.
– to the tune of “D.I.S.C.O.”, and “we
all live on a cider, cider bus” aka “Yellow
Submarine”)? The Cider Bus staff respond with rapturous
applause, but sadly not free cider, which is really why
we were doing it, come on! |
|
 |
|
| The
day ends as always with a huge camp-fire, this sadly marks the
end of the road for our specially purchased and painted Nailsea
Gazebo with gives itself to the flames… But we leave hoping
that Glastonbury, us, and the gazebo will return for another victorious
year in 2004.
Finally
a big thanks to Michael Eavis and the Glastonbury Festival team
who have given us some of the best times of our lives, long
may it continue… These reviews are mainly the opinion
of just myself rather than the whole HMZ team (although many
others chipped their own contributions where my memory gets
blurry), if you think I'm talking crap, agree, or want to add
your own memories please talk about it on our forum.
CHEERS!
QUOTE
of '03:
Man 1 = "What
time are The Music on?"
Man 2 = "It's been on all weekend."
|
 |
| Also
on the bill: Inspiral Carpets, Echo & The Bunnymen, De La
Soul, Mogwai, Har Mar Superstar, Nada Surf, Athlete, Yo La Tengo,
Suede, Royksopp, Primal Scream, Morcheeba, FatBoy Slim, Beth Orton,
Jullian Cope, Junior Senior, Black Box Recorder, Jools Holland,
Jimmy Cliff, Eighties Matchbox B-Line Disaster, Interpol, Steve
Harley & Cockney Rebel, Super Furry Animals, The Coral, Love
with Arthur Lee, The Libertines, Moloko, Turin Brakes, Sugarbabes,
Asain Dub Foundation, Macy Gray, The Rapture, The Ravonettes,
Grandaddy, Sigur Ros, Dave Gahan, Doves, The Streets, Tricky,
The Roots. Price
= £105. Attendance = 120,000 |
|
Check out CD's by these '99 to '03 Glastonbury SuperStars!
|
.
|
R.E.M.
Radiohead 
Orbital 
The Wurzels
The White Stripes
Stereophonics 
Coldplay 
David Bowie 
