Glastonbury Festival Weather Forecast

The weather forecasts are starting to roll in for Glastonbury, and to be honest they’re not looking great. Most experienced forecasters seem to believe that we are in for at least some rain over the weekend, whilst the BBC’s Everton Fox calmly predicts a mudbath. Since the HMZ team began attending Glastonbury in 1997 we believe we have already seen more than our fair share of mudbaths, in particular the first two years of 1997 and 1998, and also 2004 to a lesser extent. So, to disprove the negative forecasts produced elsewhere, we have carefully studied the likely weather patterns, and can now reveal the definitive Glastonbury Festival Weather Forecast:

Tuesday 21st June
Solstice day begins with clear skies for all, which continue until lunchtime. Between Midday and 3pm Somerset will enjoy some persistent light rain, which will soften up the fields sufficiently to allow tent pegs to go into the ground easily, and to make the ground soft enough to sleep on. The late afternoon sees the clear skies return, as Glasto-goers pack their bags and prepare for their journey.

Wednesday 22nd June
A glorious start to the most glorious day of the year, as the south west is bathed in sunshine and enjoys temperatures of around 22C, not too hot for those carrying their stuff over several acres of farmland. Wind speeds drop to 1mph, making tent-erecting a doddle. The evening stays consistently warm and dry.

Thursday 23rd June
Another clear start to the day, allowing a beautiful sunrise over Worthy Farm greeted by the Stone Circle drummers. Low winds and temperatures in the low 20s continue to make it ideal conditions for those arriving and setting up camp, whilst the early arrivals are already showing tan-marks from 2 days spent in the vicinity of the sun-baked cider-bus.

Friday 24th June
With the vast majority of people on site its now time for the temperatures to sore, and reach 28C. Occasional breezes blow over to provide brief relief from the heat, whilst security guards fire water-cannons into the crowd. Its a barmy evening, as increasing numbers of festival-goers dispense with their clothing, and Glastonbury becomes a big sweaty naked disco.

Saturday 25th June
A shock for the sweltering festival at around 9am this morning, as a 2 minute rainstorm appears, to give everyone a cooling shower and give a much-needed clean to the stinking toilets. Normal service is soon resumed, and temperatures hit 32C just after lunchtime. Festival welfare reports huge shortages of suncream, and the crowd begins to resemble a huge sea of tomatoes. But the cider is flowing, the sun is shining, and no-one gives a f**k. The world’s biggest ever water-fight kicks off on site, causing chaos for a couple of hours and unfortunately Keane are forced to cancel whilst the Eavises appeal for order.

Sunday 26th June
The last full-day at Worthy Farm begins with blazing sunshine, and the temperatures soon hit 34C. What remaining clothes anyone has they use to dress the wickerman, before it is burned as a tribute to the wonderful sun god who has blessed this weekend with the best ever temperatures recorded in South West England. Extra stocks of cider, beer and water have been imported onto site to quench thirsts, and a few fair-skinned people finally resort to sheltering from the sun under the big tree in the Pyramid field. Most however choose to continue to expose their illuminous red bodies to the sun, and stay up enjoying the festival right to the last minute.

Monday 27th June
Temperatures have cooled significantly, and the weekend’s sun has disappeared, replaced by threatening clouds, which fortunately do not break until everyone has packed up and gone home.

Tuesday 28th June
It pisses down, for 40 days and 40 nights. Mr Eavis is able to rescue his animals in an Ark he builds on the top of Glastonbury Tor. Meanwhile his guests are left with memories of the greatest ever weekend of weather (and the worst ever cases of sunburn).